10 Things I Hate About Bruce

If you’ve been paying attention to Kansas State’s Men’s Basketball team this year, you know the roller coaster of emotion it has been. The problem with emotions? I have no idea how to properly handle more than being angry or content. I am either angry about something or completely content with something, which is a very difficult range of emotions to work with when you follow a team with Bruce Weber as the coach.

In the spirit of not knowing what to do with my emotions, I did the only thing I know how to do and wrote a poem. Yes, I’m a regular Shakespeare. In the teen movie classic, 10 Things I Hate About You, the modern adaptation of Shakespeare's late-16th century comedy The Taming of the Shrew, the main character delivers a poem that hit home. Not only did her poem expose the flaws of it’s subject, it delivers an interesting final plot twist. This is my humble adaptation fit for my confusing emotions about Bruce Weber.

10 Things I Hate About Bruce

I hate the way you talk to the media
And the way you rely on your charms
I hate the way you blame everyone else
I hate it when you run with folded arms

I hate your play hard chart
And the way you accept losing
I hate you so much I can’t see straight
But that could also be from boozing

I hate it when you high five the haters
I hate the way you're always nice
I hate it when you finish games worse than Andy Reid
Even worse when you lose to KU twice

I hate the way you are around when we could have Brad
And the fact that Currie didn’t even make the call
But mostly I hate the way I can't truly hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.