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TRASH TALK: Texas Longhorns

Alright, alright, alright.

TCU v Texas
Since being fired by Texas, Charlie Strong is 5-0 at USF.
Photo by Chris Covatta/Getty Images

“WE OWN TEXAS!” clap-clap-clapclapclap

K-State football is 10-7 all-time against Texas, including a 9-4 mark as conference rivals. Yes, in the Big 12 era, for every Texas victory over K-State, there have been two K-State victories. Even R*n Pr*nce managed a 2-0 record against Texas.

Only Texas could lose 39-14 to a team that threw four passes, completing two for nine yards — shout out to Garrett Gilbert, greatest QB in K-State history.

A year later, the Longhorns outgained the Wildcats, 310 yards to 121, holding Collin Klein to a tiny fraction of a yard per rushing attempt, yet Texas still lost, 17-13.

It has been eight years since the last time Texas was what it imagines itself to be. In 2009, the Longhorns beat Nebraska in the Big 12 Championship Game (a major factor in realignment when Huskers got upset about Texas getting a field goal attempt to win it). Since then, Texas has gone 48-45, with a losing 31-32 record in the conference.

Season after season, Texas has made other teams look good by losing to them. Think of Texas as Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Need to establish an enemy as a credible threat? Have them show up and toss Worf across the room. But every time, when the new season rolls around, the media wants to declare “Worf is back!”

Maybe someday Texas, with its vast resources and huge pool of recruits in its backyard, will land a coach with Saban-esque tactical acumen and ruthlessness. When that happens, watch out. But Tom Herman is not that coach. And if Texas does find that coach, he will so upset the boosters, because there won’t be all the glad-handing and back-slapping that Texas football demands.