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TRASH TALK: Sooner or later

Learn another song, damn it!

Sooner Trigger Warning
In 2003 ESPN was asking whether Oklahoma was the greatest football team of all time. Then Darren Sproles racked up 323 yards from scrimmage against the Sooners — more than 11 whole teams accomplished that season.
Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images

K-State has a miserable 19-73-4 record against Oklahoma. Among current and former conference opponents, K-State has only fared worse against Nebraska. But none of that matters, because in 2003 the Wildcats humiliated the Sooners, whom ESPN had spent all season lauding and much of the season debating whether they were the best ever.

The 2003 Sooners had thrashed their opponents all year long. Only Alabama -- in Tuscaloosa — stayed within a touchdown of Oklahoma in the regular season. The Sooners had genuinely blown out ranked Texas and Oklahoma State teams, and they outgained Texas A&M 639 yards to 54 in an epic 77-0 beatdown.

Then they face-planted — HARD — against a team that wasn’t afraid of them. Darren Sproles rushed for 235 yards on 10.7 yards per carry and caught 3 passes for 88 yards and a touchdown. Ell Roberson threw 4 touchdowns. Ted Sims took an interception to the house. And after giving up an early touchdown, the Wildcat defense locked down Oklahoma for the final 57 minutes in a 35-7 blowout victory for the Wildcats.

Never let a Sooner forget it.

Cheaters from the start

The Sooners take their name from a bunch of cheating dirt burglars. Really. “Sooners” were people who cheated in the 1889 Oklahoma land rush, illegally entering the territory before authorized to steal the best land, to the detriment of honest, law-abiding settlers. (The “Boomers” referenced in Oklahoma’s only song were even earlier cheats and thieves, deliberately misreading the law.)

That. Damn. Song.

From the Wikipedia entry on “Boomer Sooner:” “The OU marching band plays the fight song when the team takes the field and when the team scores a touchdown, a field goal, makes a big play, or makes a play in general.” (emphasis mine) I assume it was for brevity’s sake that the Wikipedia editor left out all the other times that damn song is used, including any time a whistle is blown, and any time a whistle isn’t blown.

It’s the most obnoxious song imaginable, and all right-thinking people should hate it and by extension the Oklahoma Sooners.

D+ superfan

Toby Keith isn’t Nebraska superfan Larry the Cable Guy, so I’ll give him at least a passing grade. But his music catalog has so many songs I absolutely cannot stand.

A substandard musical

“Oklahoma!” is Rodgers and Hammerstein’s No. 5 musical, at best, behind “The Sound of Music,” “The King and I,” “South Pacific,” and “Cinderella.”