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The National, 9/6/2012: Thursday Follies.

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Hey, dude! You wanna subscribe to my newsletter? Only 12 easy payments of $10,000 each! You can afford it now! (Brett Davis-US PRESSWIRE)

Call My Bookie, They're Playing Tech This Week: The best thing about Thursday during the fall sports season is that almost nothing real happens, meaning we can focus on stupidity. Like, for example, the guy who bet $3,000 dollars on Texas State last week. Not to cover the 34.5 point spread; to win outright. Man, what a moron. Sure, he got 60:1 odds, but... wait, he won $120K? Okay, maybe I'm the one who's stupid for not getting some of that action. In a completely unrelated story, here's Bud Elliott with his betting tips for week two.

Cowboys Fight for Free: Two Oklahoma State students were debating the value of football, as students do. Their debate, which I'm sure was civil and intelligent, ended in a beating when the victim said football was stupid. I don't condone violence, but... well, really, dude sort of deserved it, right? (Relax, you pansies who are about to start crying at me. I'm joking. So sensitive.)

How Is We Tailgate?: Over at, some foodie types offer tips for the perfect tailgate. Hint: avoid food poisoning.

Things That Are Not Stupid: Bill Connelly examines Oklahoma's attempts to correct an offensive funk which has now seemingly lasted since 2011. One way to correct it might be to stop signing divas at wideout. Another might be for their quarterback to stop panicking under pressure. Just some unsolicited advice from a friend. Also, Matt Hinton offers his keys to the KSU-Miami contest. Oh, and the week one NAIA recap at TOG.

There Are Other Sports!: Thursdays, I'll be taking a look at what's going on across the rest of the fall schedule.

In men's soccer, Tulsa upset #3 New Mexico last Saturday; South Florida knocked off Southern Methodist, then took out the aforementioned Golden Hurricane and find themselves ranked #2 in the nation behind the ever-present Tar Heels. Oklahoma State is ranked third in women's soccer, sitting at 6-0; they trail Florida State and UCLA in the poll. Surprisingly, North Carolina is all the way down in 18th after starting the season 2-1-1.

In women's volleyball, then #10 Iowa State got upset by Tennessee and fell to #18; they rebounded with a win over #25 Northern Iowa. #17 Oregon swept #10 Kentucky and #12 Washington stunned #7 Purdue, while #4 Penn State came back to knock off #2 Texas in a week of mild upsets. The Lady Cats, 7-0 after winning both the Varney's Invitational last week and the Bluejay Invitational at Creighton this last weekend, are ranked #22.

K-State's Fernando Roman took first place in the JK Gold Classic in his debut running for the Cats, and the sophomore was named Big 12 Runner of the Week in cross country. The men finished fourth (behind Wichita State, Oklahoma Baptist, and Southwestern) and the women second (to the Shockers) in that event, held in Augusta, Kansas. The Wildcats are unranked; Wisconsin is the top men's squad, while Oregon tops the women's rankings.

In field hockey, which we don't play because nobody else out here does, there's a massive scrum at the top of the poll. Eight teams have first-place votes, and four teams have between six and ten first place nods. Princeton, which is the team with ten, is only ranked fourth; North Carolina, Syracuse, and Maryland are ahead of them. Which indicates to me that nobody has any freakin' idea who the best team is, right?

Finally, there's water polo, where USC holds the #1 spot. The highest-ranked non-California team is Princeton at #13. What a shock.