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The National, 6/20/12: Jurisprudence.

By Jon Morse
Cinderella's still alive! (Bruce Thorson-US PRESSWIRE)
Cinderella's still alive! (Bruce Thorson-US PRESSWIRE)

And Then There Were Five: UCLA became the third team eliminated (along with Stony Brook and Florida) from the College World Series last night after dropping a 4-1 decision to Florida State. I'm not sure how the arbiters of the Capital One Cup will rule on Florida's finish -- they'll give them the points for finishing either 7th or 8th in the CWS, but I have no idea how they decide which since both positions are technically equal. If Florida finished 7th, Florida State has just handed their hated rivals the 2011-12 men's Capital One Cup. If Florida finished 8th, though, there is still one team that can still overtake them by winning the CWS: The Arkansas Razorbacks, who'd win the title by a mere point.

Tonight, the field will be reduced to four teams as twice-defending champs South Carolina take on the remaining northern infiltrators from Kent State.

His Lawyer Still Can't Keep Him From Running His Mouth: Yesterday, in conversation with a reporter, Harvey Updyke confessed to poisoning the Toomer Oaks. In public. At the courthouse. During a recess in the midst of jury selection for his own trial. Guess he's just going to have to rely on that insanity defense now.

That Other Thing: The pederast isn't going to testify, the defense is about to rest, and that means with any luck the jury will be back with a verdict no later than tomorrow and we can all move on with our lives.

Oh, But We're Not Done: The first sentence has been handed down in that home invasion that resulted in Auburn winning the 2011 Fulmer Cup, as WR Antonio Goodwin earned fifteen years of lodging courtesy of the state for his role in the robbery. The other three participants still await trial.

This Is The Opposite of Right: Turns out that the contract between Louisville and Florida International for a trio of games has a particular loophole: if either school happens to suddenly no longer be coached by a guy named Pitino, the contract voids. Andy Katz thinks this is a good thing, and we need to see more of it. Andy Katz is also completely wrong.

Let's get the obvious out of the way first: the third game at the series is at FIU, meaning that if FIU needs to part ways with the younger Pitino, they'd forfeit the single home game they get out of the series. That's extortion; a clause inserted for the sole purpose of forcing FIU to suffer even more financially if they made the wrong hire. Worse, if the younger Pitino succeeds wildly for two seasons then jumps to a higher-profile program? Same thing; FIU loses the return game for the crime of having given a guy his first chance as a head coach.

But it's deeper than that; let's just ask ourselves who the game is for. Do we support college athletics because golly gee whiz we think those coaches are great guys who deserve all the breaks they can get? No. It's about the kids, damnit, and having coaches arrange cynical contracts for games for their personal benefit is, to be absolutely blunt, a crock of shit. We don't need MORE of these clauses to "eliminate haggling", Andy Katz. We need them to be BANNED, for the good of the sport and, well, you know, for ethics.

This Is The Opposite of Smart: The CAA, reeling from the defection of four and a half schools in 18 months, has decided to stick to their guns and ban Old Dominion and Georgia State from any post-season conference activities this year. The desire to keep an outgoing member from walking off with a conference championship in their pocket is understandable. Actually slaking that desire is ridiculous. The end result will be a denuded 7-team CAA tournament in 2013, which will just cost everyone money. Cynically, I think the impetus here is the very real fear that ODU will win the league's auto-bid while nobody gets an at-large. There's a word for that, and it starts with "cow" and ends with "ardly".

Diablerie: Bobby Petrino learns that real estate has been a bad investment for a few years now. ... Maryland basketball has new unis. Verdict: bad, but better than anyone feared. ... At least Mark Richt can win something. ... Jabari Parker's parents don't care about the new NCAA rules removing text restrictions from recruiters; you can't text someone if you don't have their phone number. ... Finally, the Champs Sports Bowl is no more, but in the manner in which only the PR guys who've handled the bowl are capable, the absolutely perfect statement: