Spring Practice has finally arrived, and I know you that you, our loyal BOTC reader, are hungry for the inside scoop.
Well, you've come to the right place. I've had the chance to get into Snyder's "closed" practices, and I'm here to give you a first hand account of what's going on in the legend's first round of practices since his return.
Sit back and enjoy the tidbits. I won't say that they are 100% accurate, but how would you know? You're not in the practices, so it's your word against mine.
Click the jump for more.
- Some of the rowdier defensive players snuck a golf cart onto the practice field yesterday and did donuts. Ironically, they weren't able to hit anything, and half an hour later the cart ran out of gas. The players were then forced to run laps, but they didn't get very far because they all threw up and fell down as soon as they got out of the cart.
- A random survey was done while the players were standing in line during position drills. Seven out of ten thought "Dancing with the Stars" was whack, two were watching it because the chick from the Playboy Mansion was on it, and one player, who refused to be named, claimed that he watched it because his girlfriend made him (wink wink). Ten out of ten found David Allen Grier to be painfully unfunny in any medium.
- Good News: All of the quarterbacks were taken to a farm outside of town, and 67% of them can hit the broadside of a barn.
- A band of players asked Coach Snyder if he'd wear a cowboy hat after the next big win. Snyder stared at them with an icy glare which made two of them cry, and one player literally crapped his pants. Those who did not cry or defecate themselves have quit the team.
- Look for an ad in the Collegian next week in regards to running back tryouts. If you can follow a block and have sub 4.8-forty speed, please meet at the Food Court in the Union next Wednesday.
- The defense seems to have a significant learning curve. Apparently, most of them hadn't seen a playbook before. According to a linebacker, the previous playbook consisted of screenshots from Super Tecmo Bowl.
- Professionalism has apparently made its way back into Vanier. The theme song from "Benny Hill" is no longer being played during the defense's film review.
- The offensive line instruction has been night and day. They've been instructed to 'engage and lock on' as opposed to 'duck and dive'.
- A certain faction of players are concerned that Coach Snyder isn't 'confirmed', but he reassured them that it's normal for those 'youngsters' to feel that way 'at this particular point in time'.
- Wardrobe Update: Coach Snyder will not wear a black polo shirt.
Only funny because Damon Wayans was in it
Tibesar was a Goddamn genius
Piss off. I looked good in this thing.