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PJ's Practice Notes: 4/21/2009



Want to hear the latest (fake) scoop coming out of K-State's Spring Practice? Click the jump to find out!

  • Progress is being made on the defensive side of the ball. Current totals show that the defensive players have an edge in scrimmages with tackling dummies, 7-4.
  • Even though Bill Snyder has instituted a 'one voice' policy in terms of dealing with the media, off the record, Defensive Coordinator Vic Konneing said, "You wanna know how bad it is? Okay, let me put it this way; our defense puts up about as much of a fight as the Canadian army." BOTC fact checkers are currently verifying if Canada actually has an army in order to gauge the severity of his comments.

    This is cutting edge shit, eh?

  • UPDATE: Running Backs - They're able to run in a straight line. We don't know if they're able to find an open hole because, well, the rest of the offense is still unable to get the play call and snap the ball in less than forty-two seconds. The legend returns!
  • Strength and Conditioning Notes: The players like having muscles now. They find that 83% of girls they encounter in Aggieville are more receptive to their advances. 100% of the players are convinced that the remaining uninterested females are lesbians. 100% of the football players think that's kind of hot.

    House - Lucky Thirteen (via Nicocaps)

  • Kendra Wecker, former standout K-State women's basketball player and participant in the national Punt, Pass, and Kick contest has been contacted to see if she's interested in punting, passing, or kicking.
  • The coaching staff has decided on the five combined plays they plan on running in the Spring Game. "Run left", "run middle", "run right", "pass", and "tackle the guy with the ball" are your winners. A BOTC office pool has been set up to determine when the first inappropriate audible to an option play is called.
  • For those of you who responded to the advertisement in the Collegian about running back tryouts, the coaching staff would like to thank you for your interest. For those of you who showed up and said said that you were there looking for a tight end, please Google "Junction City strip clubs" instead and try not wasting everybody's time. Thanks in advance.
  • Note to self: Do not write up practice notes using washable Crayola markers. When watching a practice makes you so upset that you cry, it tends to wash everything you've written down away. So, sorry for not handing out practice notes last week. Let's just say we're all better off for not knowing what's going on.

    Fills my life with color.

  • A group of reporters was shot at after the coaching staff found out we (I mean "they") snuck into practice. Only one man is in critical condition.
  • On a personal note, I'd like to apologize to the guy I used as a human shield during an undisclosed event last week. Thanks for taking one for the team.