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Keeping Them Honest: Hyperbole Alert


In my open letter to Ron Prince on Monday, I let him know that I would be keeping a much keener eye on his coaching from here on out. When I said that the honeymoon was over, I didn't just mean holding back some scathing commentary about what goes on between the white lines; I was also talking about what he says behind the podium as well.

For those of you who followed my work at Chronicles of a K-State Fan, you know that I like to poke fun at Ron Prince's rambling press conferences. Most of the time, ninety-five percent of what he says is purely coach speak gibberish meant to fill time. However, every once in a great while, some nugget, be it intentional or not, slips through the cracks. On Monday, during his weekly press conference, he dropped this gem:

"Coming into this game, I think it is pretty obvious that this offense we are going to play, being one of the top rushing offensives in the country; they have a very unique combination of a quarterback. And you hear a lot about the terms called dual-threat quarterback, and I think about all the ones I have seen, this one might be the best one. Legitimately, an unbelievable passer, very accurate, has tremendous sense of timing on his passes; he can pass from within the pocket and on the move. And then he is the leading rusher among quarterbacks in the country. And when you have the all-time leading rusher in the backfield with you, it gives you a pretty potent combination. We are pretty aware that the Ragin Cajuns’ have an excellent running game. So they can run the ball which sets up a nice play action pass which establishes a good tempo to maintain position of the ball and wear teams down.

Honestly, Ron, have you watched football in the past few years? Does the name Vince Young ring a bell? Tim Tebow? Hell, why don't we just rattle off the list of successful dual-threat quarterbacks that have played at Kansas State: Michael Bishop, Jonathan Beasley, and Ell Roberson. Did you get rid of all of the tape that Bill Snyder left behind? Or are you just completely oblivious to the fact that you're in the house that dual-threat quarterbacks built?

I'm not trying to take anything away from Michael Desormeaux, but really? The best dual-threat QB you've seen? Do I look like I was born yesterday?

As I said, I'm not trying to discount Desormeaux. I'm sure he's more than capable of accumulating some nice offensive numbers against the porous Kansas State defense, but he's currently ranked #59 in the nation for pass efficiency. He's accumulated 889 yards of total offense (338 rushing, 551 passing), and he's only scored four touchdowns (two rushing, two passing). I mean, I'm sure he's good, but don't bullshit me, Ron.

Seriously. I know what you're doing. You're building this guy up because you know he's going to cause our defense fits on Saturday, and you're trying to make it seem like his performance will be more indicitive of how good he is as opposed to how bad we are. Do you know what that's called Ron? It's called a "straw man". When confronted with an honest, logical arugment or assessment (like our defense holding up about as well as a New Orleans levee), you retort with a completley different one that's easy to win. For example:

PJ: Jesus Christ. How did we let a quarterback from the Sun Belt rush for 150 yards on the defense and throw for another 150? Our defense has issues.

RP: Michael Desormeaux is the best quarterback I've ever seen. Did you see him today? His passes were on target, he was decisive in the pocket, and he was the best player on the field today.

PJ: But, Coach, wouldn't you say it's more indicative of how bad our defense is compared to how good he is?

RP: How can you say that? He's easily the best dual-threat quarterback I've seen, and his performance against us today proves it.

Now, who knows if Desormeaux will really cause us fits on Saturday, but I'm not sure exactly what stunt you're trying to pull with this little comment of yours. I do know that I don't like it. It sounds like a "straw man" to me. Why don't you just say something like, "We know the opposing team's quarterback is a great player. We'll definately have to account for his talents on Saturday, or he'll give us fits." Doesn't that basically do the trick? What's with the hyperbole?

This may seem pretty nitpicky, but I think I speak for a lot of K-State fans when I say, "Tone it down." Not every opposing player is the greatest player of his generation. Especially one that 95% of college football fans have never even heard of.

Monty Python - Argument Clinic (via benthecartoon)

- PJ