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Big 12 Roundtable--The End is Near

1.  With only two or three games left, how are you feeling about your season? Disappointed, elated, surprised, a little violated?

I’m going with a little violated.  Think of K-State’s season as a blind-date situation.  The guy who sets you up with this girl tells you endlessly how hot she is, much better than the last girl he set you up with, blah, blah, blah.  Then you meet up with the girl and, what do you get?  More of the same.  We saw the same thing, allowing our hopes to get sky-high after the big win over Texas and the blowout of Colorado, and then everything crashed around us with the losses at Oklahoma State and especially Iowa State.

2.  I have to ask, how do you feel about the ( possible) buyout of Fran at Texas A&M?

I will never feel sorry for any of the big-money (Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, Nebraska) programs in the Big 12.  Ever.  They get themselves into situations like this, and I feel it’s my duty to laugh at them when it happens.  Go ahead, Aggies.  Throw money at the situation, and hope to God it gets better.  A great reminder to every arrogant fan of a big-money program that you’re only one bad head coach from suckage.  Oklahoma learned that in the 1990s, as did Texas.  Nebraska has learned its lesson now.  And A&M is perfecting the technique.

3.  We’ve picked coaches, players, stadiums and everything else from other teams. Now, we get down to something even more near and dear: mascots. If you could pick another Big 12 mascot other than your own - who would it be and why?

How could it be any mascot other than Ralphie?  I mean, if an 800-pound buffalo running around doesn’t get you pumped up, I don’t know what will.  I’d love it if K-State had a live bobcat running around, although bobcats are kind of small.  And it’s good that CU has Ralphie, because Chip is one of the goofiest-looking mascots I’ve ever seen.

4.  Unexpected Greatness, Unexpected Suckage. Who surprised you this year? Who did you get really excited about, only to be let down? (The first Roundtable asked who was the face of the franchise - do you still feel that way?)

I picked defensive end—turned—linebacker Ian Campbell as the face of the franchise before the season.  While Campbell hasn’t had a bad year by any stretch of the imagination, he’s been far from the face of the franchise.

Although his greatness has not been totally unexpected—before the season I picked him as a player the rest of the conference should keep its collective eye on—Jordy Nelson has taken his play to a level few expected.  The absolute travesty that is his lack of national recognition can’t overshadow how great he has been on the field.  He’s made a believer of everyone who has watched him.  If he doesn’t win the Biletnikoff Award, I will join the masses and declare all postseason college football awards a fraud of epic proportions.

5.  I told you there would be booze. Characterize your team by the beverage of your choice.

I will characterize K-State as wine in a liquor store.  Not any specific kind of wine, just wine.  You see, I hate wine.  I never drink it unless I absolutely have to.  I wouldn’t know a good bottle of wine if its cork popped out and hit me in the nuts.  So, I am likely to be about as consistent about choosing a good bottle of wine from the hundreds of bottles at the liquor store as K-State is likely to consistently play well this year.  Sometimes I’ll make a home-run decision and pick a bottle of win that rocks my socks (analogous to: Texas game, Colorado game), and sometimes I’ll pick something that tastes like it was strained through a Frenchman’s sweaty socks (analogous to: Oklahoma State, Iowa State, Baylor first half).

Lightning Round - worth double the points (which will still work out to zero...), and twice the fun!

- Love ‘em.
Jordy Nelson—How could you not, unless you're the national media?
Marcus Watts—Injured every year at K-State, and has played through the pain.
Rushing Attacks—I’m really getting tired of all this passing.  This is Great Plains Football, people!
"I’m a man!  I’m forty!"—I will never tire of saying that till the day I die.

- Diss ‘em.

Iowa State—Damn you for getting better!
Nebraska—Because we play you this week.

--Pick 'em.
Colorado @ Iowa state – Iowa State (don’t disappoint me!)
Texas A&M @ Mizzou - Mizzou
KState @ Nebraska – K-State
TCEH @ Texas - Texas
Baylor @ Oklahoma - Oklahoma
Kansas @ Okay State: Oklahoma State (please, God, awake me from this horrible nightmare!)

- Rank ‘em.

Oklahoma State
Texas Tech
Texas A&M
Iowa State