Now c'mon, did you really think I would let the week of the Baylor game go by without interviewing the writers over at BearMeat? Below is my encounter with President Red Andrews, one of the ghosts of Waco's Alico Building. Enjoy!
1. Inquiring minds want to know: Will Brock be in Manhattan on Saturday?
Wherever two or more college football fans are gathered, painting their chests and tanking up on booze before a game, Brock is in the midst of them. Wherever someone is pouring a bit too much Ranch dressing on his pizza, Brock is there. Wherever Baylor is getting blown out by a weak conference opponent, Brock is there. Wherever fans seek some shred of dignity and hope in a losing effort, Brock is
Somewhere, I'm sure there's a K-State student with a "K" tan line. Please send pictures to firstname.lastname@example.org
2. Baylor's quarterback situation has taken so many twists and turns I can't keep up with it. First it was John David Weed, then Blyzzle Szyzzle, and now I'm not sure where we are. Who do you think will start Saturday, and for those of us looking for a good story full of pot jokes, will Weed see any action?
Machen is slated to start, but given GuyMo's penchant for putting anyone he damn well pleases in after the customary 3 INTs are thrown, he may just start Baylor's new mascot, Brock, for all we know. If Weed doesn't see substantive playing time before the end of this season, BearMeat will complete its transformation into a Texas Tech alumni dating service blog. Without cannabis jokes, this blog is forced to actually be creative, which we abhor.
Single Tech alum in CenTex? Check out BearMeat!
3. Since you asked about K-State/KU, I must know about Baylor's biggest rival, which I presume is Texas A&M. Tell us: Baylor/Waco is Ronald Reagan's shining city on the hill, while A&M/College Station is (you fill in the blank)?
First off, Baylor/Waco/Central Texas represents the nexus of all three demographics of the GOP base: social/religious conservatives (see Baylor and Waco as the buckle of the Bible Belt), fiscal conservatives (see angry ranchers), and national security conservatives (see Ft. Hood and the strong military tradition in this region). Reagan brought all of these groups together to establish the
current conservative movement that is now the base of the GOP. College Station is somewhat less religious (see Dixie Chicken) and somewhat less fiscally conservative (see farm subsidies), but plenty more militaristic (see the Corps). So, if we are Ronald Reagan's City on the Hill, then College Station is Gen. George Patton's City on a Hill.
Dixie Chicken: Den of iniquity.
4. Last week, PB over at Burnt Orange Nation asked you to compare GuyMo to a U.S. politician, and you chose Herbert Hoover. This week, I want to know which famous military leader, past or present, GuyMo best compares to.
Continuing on with our U.S. Army brass theme, we would have to say that GuyMo is most like General William Westmoreland, the commander of the war effort in Vietnam during much of Lyndon Johnson's administration, whose WWII strategy was precisely the wrong model for a counter-insurgency effort. Westmoreland had infinite faith in U.S. firepower, but had no understanding of the culture or history of
Vietnam. Similarly, GuyMo's experience in Kentucky and faith in Lee Hays' AirBear attack makes him poorly suited to win against teams who can easily pick apart our simplistic offense. The wrong mindset for the wrong set of circumstances.
GuyMo's father interviews General Westmoreland to learn the secrets that will make his son great.
5. Will Baylor extend its one-year dominance of K-State football, or will it be another 1969-style (K-State 45, BU 15) beatdown for K-State?
KSU will beat Baylor. Our win streak will end at one. However, our defense is strong and we now have a new QB, Machen, who makes up for what he lacks in skill with leadership and confidence. KSU 43 Baylor 2.