If the world were like the Big XII

After reading the Adventures of the Big XII (link here) and then the title of the article over on WRNL that wildcat00 talked about, I was reminded of an email my dad sent me. It was hilarious (and appropriate) at the time, and since I'm reminiscing, I'll share. You've probably all seen it, but it's still hilarious, just a couple years dated.

Texas is like the USA - Wealthy, talented, and with seemingly endless resources. They have a big ego, but are deserving of it because they win at almost everything they do. Others often despise them out of jealousy. Their money and wealth make the world go round, and everyone wants a piece.

Texas A&M is like China - Big, powerful, and rival of Texas (USA). They live in a male dominated society, thus their women are not allowed to be cheerleaders. Their money and power also make the world go round.

Oklahoma is like Mexico - Having no resources of their own, they have to invade the border of Texas (USA) to survive.

Oklahoma State is like Venezuela - There wasn't a whole lot there to start with, and without the oil money, they would be nothing there at all. They have a crazy guy in charge who often shouts nonsense when he speaks.

Baylor is like Israel - A feisty little religious enclave that could not survive without Texas (USA). However, if provoked, they WILL kill you.

Colorado is like Canada - A small, unimportant bastion of hippies who are not very good at anything. Like Canada, they are bad at all sports other than hockey. Like Canada, they produce no GDP.

Nebraska is like Russia - A former super power who frequently stirs up trouble because they still think they are a super power. Nebraska (Russia) things it is the equal of Texas (USA), and pouts in public when it doesn't get its baby way. When they do not get their way, they take their ball and go home. Go big RED!

Missouri is like Iran and North Korea - A definite member of the axis of evil. Conniving and loyal to no one, you can't believe anything they say (you can only watch in amazement at what they do). Like Iran and North Korea, they are hated and despised by everyone - even the Swiss.

Iowa State is like Switzerland - Boring, unimportant, not good at much of anything, but neutral and without enemies. Even the Hawkeyes like the Swiss.

Texas Tech is like Australia - Big, dusty, and a Texas version of "down under." Cowboys like Aussies drink a lot of beer and carry weapons.

KU is like France - KU is full of socialists and they think they are better than everyone else. This high opinion of themselves is not shared by anyone else in the world. Like France, KU can't be trusted or counted on during a time of need.

K-State is like Ireland - A gritty, feisty, over-achieving little country with a large inferiority complex. What they lack in resources, they make up by determination and people. Others can't find them on a map, but they like them because they are fun, friendly and like to drink beer.

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