I'm going to keep referring to the Big 12 as the Hotel California Conference (HCC) until we no longer have members publicly flirting with other conferences (I'm looking at you Missouri) and/or we finalize a new conference structure and/or we get back to 12 (or expand to 14).  There, I think that covered all scenarios.

Don't worry, though, I won't insist on pairing each team with a line from the song.  That got old about halfway through my last rankings.  I will keep the Heaven and Hell divisions though.

No movement at the #1 spot this week, after Oklahoma turned back a strong early showing by Missouri.

HEAVEN

1. Oklahoma | 3-0 (1-0)

Things weren't looking good for the Sooners late in the first quarter when Missouri led 14-3.  Then Jones hit Broyles for a 24 yard TD and Oklahoma never looked back.  The final score showed a 10 point loss for Mizzou, but after half time the game never felt that close to me.  The Sooners play Ball state next week so I will make a bold prediction and say they retain the #1 spot.

2. Oklahoma State | 4-0 (1-0)

The second most exciting game I watched last weekend (three guesses on the most exciting game and the first two don't count). A strong road win against a top-ranked team?  I think the Cowboys will pull the upset and beat Oklahoma this year.  Why not?  They get the Sooners at home, so I like their chances.  They could enter this game playing for a MNC bid, but unfortunately for them foresee a loss on November 5.

3. Baylor | 3-0

Baylor has the best offense in the Big 12, if not the country, no doubt in my mind.  That is fairly easy to do when you have a QB like Robert Griffin III holding the reins.  I don't think their defense will be good enough that they can always outscore their opponents, but they are definitely a threat to beat whoever they are playing.  I am very afraid for Saturday.

4. Kansas State | 3-0

Holy Shit! Best Non-Con K-State win ever! Fuck a Duck!

Seriously though that was an amazing game.  My heart is still pounding from it (though I guess that could be from all those doughnuts).  I think this is great for our team and gives our D confidence to keep up with Baylor. I also think that playing against immortals like Robert Griffin III means we don't stand a chance.  That's OK, HBCK don't care. HBCK doesn't give a shit.

5. Iowa State | 3-0

I dropped ISU below Baylor and KSU because I honestly think they aren't as good as Baylor and KSU, even though their record looks better right now.  I actually like their chances to beat Texas this weekend, but that doesn't mean I actually think they will beat Texas.  Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised.

HELL

6. The Beast | 3-0

OK, I lied, I'm still calling Texas "The Beast", because I like the analogy.  They fall into the Hell division because they didn't do anything last week and I'm a homer.  Sue me. (since you are not Baylor I feel safe in making that statement without fear of actually being sued)

7. Missouri | 2-2 (0-1)

You've had a tough schedule so far, and I don't think you are this bad.  I am confident as you play more of your conference schedule you will rise in the standings again.  Still, 2 losses is two losses.

8. Nobody Important | 2-1 (0-1)

So, you lost, at home, with a 20-3 halftime lead.  Yeah, you are really going to do great in the SEC.  Fuck off.

9. Texas Tech | 3-0 (barely)

Well so much for cruise control.  I did not foresee a problem with the Wolfpack, but the Raiders needed a last minute to TD to pull ahead by one point.  The ending of this game is probably as close as we'll get to looking into an alternate universe where the TD isn't overruled on replay in the Miami game.

10. Kansas | 2-1

Because the Jayhawks were on a bye I was tempted to move them above Tech, given the Red Raiders awful performance, but I just can't do it.  They can prove me wrong and earn a week out of the cellar if the live up to their 3.56.5 point underdog status and actually beat Texas Tech.  I don't think it likely and imagine it going much like their other Tech game this year.