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Week 3 Hotel California Conference Power Rankings

I've waited this long to start my Power Rankings because I don't like to rank teams that I haven't had the chance to observe (as if I go around ranking teams all the time), even if it is a snapshot kind of thing like a power ranking.

Due to the subject of conference realignment presenting the Big 12 with an opportunity, I propose that the Big 12 re-brand itself as the Hotel California Conference (credit to VegasCat07 and Furnace76 for inspiration) in reference to the Eagles' song by the same name.  This opens a wide range of possibilities that will only improve our conference brand. For example, our conference slogan could be:

You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave.

Perfect description of the mentality of the conference membership, in my opinion.  We could also divide the conference into the Heaven and Hell divisions (from the line: And I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell.) once we bring teams in to get back to twelve.

 

                                                            Hotel_california_sign_fs_medium

 

Kicking off our Power Rankings at the top spot in the Heaven division is...

HEAVEN

1. Oklahoma | 2-0

"Last thing I remember I was running for the door."

Overshadowing Oklahoma's impressive road-victory over the then #5 Florida State Seminoles were news stories swirling around Oklahoma's headlong rush to the PAC.  Then OU released a list of demands if the Big 12 wanted them to stay.

Relax, Oklahoma, we are programmed to receive.

2. Iowa State | 3-0

"Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way."

Iowa State seems to have found their muse this season.  They have quite easily the strongest record in the conference with a OT win against Iowa followed by a 4th quarter come-from-behind road win against defending Big East champion UCONN (not saying much, I know).  I fully expect them to plummet when Big 12 play begins, but for a power ranking they certainly deserve to be here.

3. Baylor | 2-0

"There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell.
And I was thinking to myself,
'this could be heaven or this could be hell."

That probably sums up what Baylor feels about the Big 12 conference.  Sure, when the Big 12 stood in the doorway 15 years ago and offered Baylor membership, it certainly seemed like heaven, but after all this mess, there was a good chance that Baylor would have been left in the wasteland of a minor conference while TCU landed safely in a major conference.  And years of utter suckitude were no doubt painful, if expected.

But Baylor definitely is in heaven now, with Robert Griffin III showing them the way to victory.  Yes, I know the Bears have no defense, but neither do the Cowboys.  With Griffin, anything can happen, including winning this conference.  Of course, losing several games to inept defensive play is much more likely (and will hopefully happen on October 1) but for now their body of work impresses me more than anyone below them.

4. Oklahoma State | 3-0

"Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends."

I'm sure this line could mean many things, but I take it to mean someone who is obsessed with luxury (as in the jewelry store Tiffany's and "Merecedes bends"=aching for a Mercedes). T. Boone Pickens.  Enough said.

OSU continued the high-roller life they are used to with a late-night point binge against Tulsa to the tune of 59-33.  They had a strong home win over Arizona, which is why they are above aTm, but I think TCU is a better team than Arizona, so that is why they are just below the Bears.

5. Texas | 3-0

"And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast.
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast."

"The Beast" = LHN = Texas

"The Beast" started off looking ugly, but since they've made a change at quarterback it seems to have galvanized the team somewhat and they looked very solid in their road victory over UCLA.

HELL

6. Texas A&M | 2-0

"And she said 'we are all just prisoners here, of our own device.'"

Texas A&M is stuck in conference limbo, and they only have themselves to blame for it.  Of course we aren't going to waive our legal rights unless we can be sure that you leaving won't destroy our livelihood, why are you so surprised?  Furthermore, once you actually get to the SEC West, you will likely find that you are in "federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison", and you will only have yourself to blame. Again.  Also, you non-conference performance so far has been uninspiring to say the least.  This coming from a KSU fan.

7. Missouri | 2-1

"She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends"

Missouri is "just friends" with the B1G and the SEC, nothing serious.  They have a pretty solid resume at this point, and I am tempted to put them above aTm, but they do have a loss, no matter how high quality it is.

8. Texas Tech | 2-0

"On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair...

...from-rushing-past-defenders-to-catch-passes-and-score-touchdowns-in-the-West-Texas-desert."  Yeah, it's a stretch, but the Red Raiders have basically been on cruise control (I'm sorry) in their non-conference play.  Look for that to continue this week when they take on Nevada.

9. Kansas State | 2-0

"Some dance to remember,"

Is Kansas State getting back to the glory days?  After pitching two shut-outs (basically) against low-level competition, some Wildcat fans are wondering if their defense is returning to the good ole days of the Lynch Mob.  If you are wondering that then let me tell you the answer is "not a chance in hell".  Did you ever see those defenses?

The Cats head to Miami this week and for some inexplicable reason Miami is comparing Klein to Tim Tebow.  If he can live up to that kind of hype then we should win comfortably this week, but I'd say the odds are unlikely.

10. Kansas | 2-1

"some dance to forget."

I'm sure KU would love to forget about their last game, a 66-24 smack-down at the hands of Georgia Tech, who set a NCAA record of 12.1 yards per rush.  You can help commemorate this achievement here.

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