A Quick Primer for the Big 12 Tournament
by Panjandrum on Mar 7, 2011 9:29 PM CST
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PrintEvery year, thousands of fans descend upon whatever city hosts the Big 12 tournament, and the fans of our (currently) twelve member institutions mix and mingle in one enclosed space. What results from that is mostly unpredictable and sometimes humorous.
For those of you who have never attended a Big 12 tournament, feel free to use the provided primer to help you navigate your way though the four days of fun and excitement.
Fact #1: Follow Iowa State fans around on Wednesday. Ultimately, after they lose, you'll be able to pick up cheap tickets. Also, they'll most likely buy you a beer because they're unbelievably nice. They're like Canadians. They may actually be Canadians; I have no idea. I've never actually seen Iowa State in person, so I can't verify that it exists inside the continental United States. Regardless, they usually come down in sizable numbers and leave early because they don't want to be reminded about how far they've fallen as a program, and the fact that they hired the guy from "Thank You For Smoking" as their basketball coach.
Fact #2: Every single KU fan you run into actually went to Washburn or Johnson County Community College. None of them actually went to KU. The only real KU alumni in the building are actually working at the concession stands.
Fact #3: If you encounter a Nebraska fan, kindly point them towards Municipal Auditorium. They are lost and looking for the Women's tournament. Point them in the right direction and do your good deed for the day.
Fact #4: Colorado will bring more people to Kansas City on their team bus than fans who will actually make the trip. If you encounter a Colorado fan, take a picture and send it to the Missing Persons hotline in the greater Denver area because someone is obviously looking for them.
Fact #5: Every KSU fan in attendance bought their ticket from TB.
Fact #6: If you're wondering how a bunch of Target employees got bench seats, they didn't. It's actually the Texas Tech coaching staff. I know; I was confused too.
Fact #7: Texas fans in attendance could give a rat's ass about how the games actually go. They just flew up to Kansas City to have some real barbecue for a change.
Fact #8: If you talk shit to Baylor fans, they will start talking women's basketball smack. If you watch women's basketball, feel free to fire back. I have nothing to offer in that exchange, so I can't help you.
Fact #9: Be nice to Missouri fans. They're your best ally in the Power and Light district against the crimson and blue onslaught. They're also most likely to lie to the cops on your behalf after you punch that KU fan in the face outside of Pizza Bar.
Fact #10: I literally have nothing to say about Oklahoma. I just think about their basketball program, and it makes me sad.
Fact #11: Oklahoma State fans will show up thinking they have a chance to win this thing. It's really, really cute.
Fact #12: Most Texas A&M fans will actually be Wichita State fans that haven't quite let go of Turgeon yet. If you see someone in a Wichita State shirt, you can probably bet money that they're rooting for A&M.
Fact #13: Should KSU and KU win on Thursday, John Higgins will call the KSU vs. KU game on Friday. KU will then shoot twice as many free throws as KSU and win by at least ten points.
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Fact #9: Be nice to Missouri fans. They’re your best ally in the Power and Light district against the crimson and blue onslaught. They’re also most likely to lie to the cops on your behalf after you punch that KU fan in the face outside of Pizza Bar.
And what’s funny is the KU schmucks don’t understand why 2 schools despise them. (apologies to the cool KU supporters, both of ’em)
The time for calm and rational discourse is past, now is the time for senseless bickering -Anonymous the Younger
by Anon_the_younger on Mar 7, 2011 9:36 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Does it have anything to do with winning the conference 7 times in a row?
Glad I came, just wish I hadn't stayed so long.
xPF= (2 x ( :) + :D + >:D ) + :] + :{| – (.605 x ( :| + :/ + :P – :( – D: ))) x .16
Nope.
It has everything to do with smug comments like yours. I have “unfriended” multiple KU fans for their obnoxious and incessant crowing — pun not intended, but perfectly valid — after wins.
by AMS on Mar 8, 2011 8:02 AM CST up reply actions
And honestly, can you say with a straight face that
You wouldn’t brag, gloat, etc if your team had won (in the last seven years) seven conference titles in a row, five conference tournament titles in that span as well, and a national title? Really? You wouldn’t be a little cocky? You wouldn’t rub it in people’s faces? You wouldn’t be "obnoxious"? Give me freaking break. KState acts like they won it all after beating KU at home in the regular season. I’d hate to see what would happen if you guys actually won something significant.
Want to shut us up? Do the following things:
1) Drop the obsession with KU. KU fans give KState fans so much shit because they go bonkers about it. I knew a kid who smashed a window after the KU-KSU game in Manhattan last year. It is hilarious. Not even Mizzou fans go so crazy. Were a rival school, not Nazi Germany (close, in your eyes… but not quite that bad).
2) Win the league. Do it once. Win something. No, Elite 8s don’t count.
3) Beat us more than three times in a 45 game span.
Until these things happen, especially two and three, be prepared to hear KU fans talk a boat load of smack. Quite frankly, I think we’ve kind of deserved it. After hearing KState fans and Mizzou fans make fun of us for the first round losses in the tournament, the no title since ’88 (despite the fact we were beating them handily every game) KU fans got mad. And now, after the national title and all the league titles, we are not going to let people forget it.
I watched a bunch of KState fans show up to a restaurant in Bucknell shirts back in 2005, who taunted me and my girlfriend (wearing KU shirts) our entire meal, chanting "go bucknell" etc. I simply replied "we beat you three times this season." Nope. Buck-Nell! Buck-Nell! Buck-Nell! So that’s why we are "obnoxious." Despite being the better team, for a couple of years we got a lot of crap for the early losses. I know it pissed me off. And it made 2008 even sweeter.
And quite frankly, Anon, I don’t give a crap if our two rival schools despise us. That is great, it means we are winning. And that only fuels point number one.
I’m sorry to be so blunt, but the whole "KU fans are obnoxious!" "They are arrogant!" thing is old. Yeah, we are. Its pretty bad. But there is kind of a reason to it. And until we finally have a bad season and struggle (aka Christmas 2.0 in Manhattan) it will probably stay that way.
Shit happens when you win championships
Well, I don't really care about Bucknell
I mean, that was so 2005. Bradley is much more hip. :-)
Forward into Battle
by ChrisP Wildcat on Mar 9, 2011 8:44 AM CST up reply actions
Haha, you know what makes that one even worse?
My family lives in Peoria, Illinois… where Bradley is located. My parents have lived there ever since I was a freshman at KU. Every time I go home… ::shakes head::
Plus, my mom is a professor at Bradley (or was, she just quit recently). Its not bad anymore, but for a while everytime I went home to see the family… just brutal.
Shit happens when you win championships
From your MOM? Good grief
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. - General George S. Patton
No she didn't give me the grief
My parents are both Wisconsin alums, but passively root for KU since I went there. I got the abuse from a lot of old friends who went to Bradley, and pretty much everyone that knew me.
Shit happens when you win championships
And really no mention of UNI from many of us.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky
Yeah. You're right.
No one mentioned last year that KState went further in the NCAA tournament than KU did…
Shit happens when you win championships
by Andrew Clark on Mar 9, 2011 10:30 PM CST up reply actions
Now that you mention it...
Forward into Battle
by ChrisP Wildcat on Mar 9, 2011 11:29 PM CST up reply actions
Actually, when DID the Hawks lose in the tourney last year?
I forget.
"Coaching a football team is the most engrossing thing in the world. It is playing chess with human pawns." --Walter Camp
by K. Scott Bailey on Mar 10, 2011 12:07 AM CST up reply actions
Oh, a nice long response.
I must have touched a nerve.
On further consideration, this is too dismissive. So I'll elaborate.
The argument of “if you want us to stop being arrogant, win something,” is a horrible argument. Success — even prolonged success — doesn’t give people free rein to be jerks about it.
I will admit, I meant to include a disclaimer that Warden11 is near the top of my list of vocal but bearable KU fans, and you too. And I’m sure there are a lot more KU fans that aren’t arrogant about it than fans that are, but the arrogant fans are the ones that give me a reason to remember them. I know for a fact that there are a few asshole K-State fans that do their best to give us all a bad name.
But to suggest K-State and MU fans’ dislike of KU and its fans is merely the product of KU’s success is wrongly dismissive. I can’t speak for MU, but for two large public universities in close geographic proximity, K-State and KU could scarcely be more different. I’d like to get into the differences, but I have to head to work now. Maybe later.
iknowrite?
Bring on the Cats
"Without getting into specifics, my exit involves a McFlurry machine and a video tape of risque commercials from overseas." -- Jack Donaghy
by Panjandrum on Mar 7, 2011 10:30 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Am I the only one who loved this movie?
by BlackCats on Mar 8, 2011 6:06 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
No
Surgeon General's Warning: K-State-Mizzou basketball may increase the risk of high blood pressure. Please consult your doctor prior to watching any of these games.
I guess I better rent it then
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
by mac attack ict on Mar 8, 2011 9:48 AM CST up reply actions
I have a bachelors in kicking ass and taking names. Remember the guy in school that could get any girl?
That’s me, on crack.
The man’s a genius…he could disprove gravity.
This is great stuff
Its funny and pretty much true!!
"To all the fake fans that just jump on and off the bandwagon who think we suck go cheer for somebody down the road then" -JP
Oklahoma State fans are "really really cute" thinking they can win :)
Bitchslapping Texas since 1997
I can vouch for Iowa State's existence within the continental United States
I attended the KSU football game there a few years back, and the cool thing about tailgating there is that it is legal to consume alcohol in their parking lots, unlike KSU :(
Forward into Battle
and that stops you?
I’m pretty sure the KSU tailgating rule is you can’t consume anything alchoholic not in a red SOLO cup
"Nor yet in Dell?"
While that may be the case at KSU
I’m not sure I’ve ever been detered from doing so, even while talking to law enforcement with a beer in my hand. It was a can in a cozy, but still.
I have seen law enforcement force the tailgaters right next to me pour out all their alcohol or go home.
And they weren’t being obnoxious or anything.
Sure, drinking is still rampant, but I like that aspect of ISU tailgating. KSU tailgating is still superior (the lot is much closer to the stadium, the lost are on level ground, better BQ, it is KSU, etc.) but in this aspect, unfortunately, ISU is ahead of us.
Of course, it has never stopped me from consuming, but I still would prefer to not have to go through all the cover up.
Forward into Battle
by ChrisP Wildcat on Mar 8, 2011 9:10 AM CST up reply actions
Yeah I've seen them make people pour it out as well.
It’s just really sad.
Surgeon General's Warning: K-State-Mizzou basketball may increase the risk of high blood pressure. Please consult your doctor prior to watching any of these games.
The grass lots
Us poor folk don’t get to drink, I guess.
But I also like the grass lots by the Rec better anyway. It just seems like more of a party than you stiffs up on the paved lots. :-)
Forward into Battle
by ChrisP Wildcat on Mar 8, 2011 11:46 AM CST up reply actions
I only remember one year they cracked down on it. There was 1 bs case though
Where I didn’t see probable cause/reasonable suspicion…but I don’t remember the event all too clearly, but it was while a truck was pulling in or out of the E side paved lot. If they were leaving and there were drunkards in the bed of the truck well ok, but as I remember I thought it was a truck pulling in.
Either the cops looked inside their cooler, or there were some cases in the bed of the truck. Either way they confiscated them. And I thought it was B.S. because there was no consuming taking place at the time.
"Nor yet in Dell?"
is there a bootlegging law in kansas?
If so, then certain amounts of alcohol being transported would fit and can be confiscated. There’s a bootlegging law in Texas and if I remember correctly, two cases in a personal vehicle is enough to fit the criteria.
by longhornfan7628 on Mar 10, 2011 9:12 AM CST up reply actions
Oh this ways years ago....I'm really not that old...
East side near the softball fields. Car drove up, opened their trunk and out came ABC to make them dump it all out. They weren’t even there for 5 minutes.
The last time was two years ago where they wouldn’t let us in a lot since we “wouldn’t let them look in our coolers in our car.” Needless to say, we moved to another lot.
Surgeon General's Warning: K-State-Mizzou basketball may increase the risk of high blood pressure. Please consult your doctor prior to watching any of these games.
I was missing the PJ funnies
It is good to have them back. I really like this one too
Fact #6: If you're wondering how a bunch of Target employees got bench seats, they didn't. It's actually the Texas Tech coaching staff. I know; I was confused too.
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. - General George S. Patton
Crap. And I don't know HTML
How about this – “Fact #6: If you’re wondering how a bunch of Target employees got bench seats, they didn’t. It’s actually the Texas Tech coaching staff. I know; I was confused too.”
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. - General George S. Patton
Fact #12: Most Texas A&M fans will actually be Wichita State fans that haven’t quite let go of Turgeon yet. If you see someone in a Wichita State shirt, you can probably bet money that they’re rooting for A&M.
Frankly this is just not true. I am a Shocker and 98% of the WSU fans I know said good riddance to Turgeon. We are living under Marshall law right now and its all good.
Good Luck to K-State, hopefully the purple and white can pull it off.
by WichitaStateHockey on Mar 8, 2011 11:29 PM CST reply actions
Thank you for sharing. I learned a couple of things here...
One, you all don’t like Turgeon. Duly noted.
Two, I had no idea SB Nation has a blog for Western College Hockey. That’s kind of random.
Bring on the Cats
"Without getting into specifics, my exit involves a McFlurry machine and a video tape of risque commercials from overseas." -- Jack Donaghy
That there is funny...I don't care who you are.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
by mac attack ict on Mar 9, 2011 3:02 PM CST up reply actions
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