FanPost

Week 10 Big 12 Power Rankings

We are back to our old name, because Missouri has finally made a decision.  The conference is adding teams that want to be here now, and I am hopeful that we will eventually get back to 12, so I'm dropping the Hotel California meme.  It was pretty lame anyway.  I am still going to keep my Heaven, Hell and Purgatory divisions though, because I really like them.

And because everyone(or just me) is a fan of gimmicks, this week's rankings will take the form of lyrics from songs that I associate with the team.

Also, does anyone want to play a pick-up game of Endurance Football?

HEAVEN

1. Oklahoma State | 9-0 (6-0)

Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar

Your play is like a tidal wave. Throwing over our heads.
Drowning us in your passes, coming from the spread.
You're the right kind of offense, to release my inner gaming geek.
The invincible winner, but your defense is like a sieve.
You're a heartbreaker. Turnover maker. Win taker.
Don't you mess around with me.
Heartbreaker!

2. Oklahoma | 8-1 (5-1)

I Fought the Law by The Bobby Fuller Four

Breakin' backs with Frank Alexander
I fought OU and OU won (twice)
They sing to much Boomer Sooner
I fought OU and OU won (twice)

I held them close in the first half
I guess the team was done
OU dominated the second half
I fought OU and OU won (twice)

3. Texas | 6-2 (3-2)

The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks

Kickoff time on a game day,
Austin is quite the sight.
The other team is clawing and scratching,
Putting up quite a fight.
Footsteps in the backfield,
There's a storm moving in.
He's headin' back from somewhere,
That he never should have been.
And the Fozzy rolls
And the Fozzy rolls

Fozzy rolls
And Bergeron strikes
Another team grows cold
And loses the will to fight
As the game goes on
Out of control
Pounding through the defense
The Fozzy rolls

4. Kansas State | 7-2 (4-2)

Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

In the day he sweats it out on the streets of a runaway title dream
In games he runs through the defensive schemes in suicide scrambles
Sprung from the backfield on an open lane,
Bloodied, battered and bruised,and steppin' all over the D-line
Oh, Colin Klein knocks you onto your back
He's a honey badger, he don't give a shit
He's gotta win out while he's young
`Cause champs like him, baby he was born to ruuuuuuuun.

5. Baylor | 5-3 (2-3)

Ms. Jackson by OutKast

I'm sorry Robert Griffin (ooh)
I am for real
Never meant to end your Heisman hopes
Hope at least that you can make a bowl
I'm sorry Robert Griffin (ooh)
I am for real
Never meant to end your Heisman hopes
Hope at least that you can make a bowl

HELL

6. Missouri | 4-5 (2-4)

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me, I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the Big 12 sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish the Big Ten would find me
'til then I walk alone.

7. Texas A&M | 5-4 (3-3)

Oscar Mayer Wiener Song by Oscar Mayer Company

Oh, I really hate Longhorn University,
But that is what I truly wish to be.
Maybe if I joined the ESS-EEE-SEE,
Then recruits would be in love with me.

8. Iowa State | 5-4 (2-4)

Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

I get knocked down, but I get up again.
You never gonna keep me down.
I get knocked down, but I get up again.
You never gonna keep me down.
I get knocked down, but I get up again.
You never gonna keep me down.
I get knocked down, but I get up again.
You never gonna keep me down.

Rhoadsrock_medium

9. Texas Tech | 5-4 (2-4)

Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet

Sippin' on cheap booze
Watchin' my team lose
Doege's always throwin' the ball
Wavin' my six-shooter
Wonderin' if we'll win sooner
Or later or never at all.

Wastin away again down in Lubbock
Searching for that lost offense by default
Some people claim that Mike Leach is to blame
But I know
It's Craig James' fault.

10. Kansas | 2-7 (0-6)

Loser by Beck

In the time of Turner Gill I was a chickenhawk
Rock in my veins so I'm out to cut the chalk
With the horrible tackling, and inconsistent offense
All drives stall against any kind of defense
The defense is laughable at best
From laughing so hard it puts a pain in my chest
Baby Jay is shaking with intense rage
Till it realizes that it's just another page
In the long, drawn, pathetic history
About the Kansas University football team
Don't believe a team could be this bad
You get torched for more touchdowns than anybody's ever had
So hide your face in a paper bag in the dark
Savin' all your money for your basketball park

Yo, cut it.

Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Double-barrel rimshot)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

Purgatory

1. TCU | 7-2 (0-1) [4-0]

Respect by Aretha Franklin

(oo) What I want
(oo) Big 12, you got
(oo) What I need
(oo) Do you know you got it?
(oo) All I'm askin'
(oo) Is for a little respect (just a little bit)
Hey Big 12 (just a little bit) when I join your conference
(just a little bit) Neinas (just a little bit)

Ooo, your TV contracts (oo)
Sweeter than honey (oo)
And guess what? (oo)
So is my Gary (oo)
All I want you to do (oo) for me
Is give it to me when I join (re, re, re ,re)
Yeah baby (re, re, re ,re)
Whip it to me (respect, just a little bit)
When you I join, now (just a little bit)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCU.

2. West Virginia | 6-3 (0-0) [2-2]

Country Roads by John Denver

(Easy? Boring? Lazy? Yes, yes and yes.  But in my defense I am suffering from song-search fatigue.)

Almost heaven, wWest vVirginia
Blue rRidge mMountains, sShenandoah rRiver
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West vVirginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

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