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VICTORY IN THE PACIFIC THEATER! THE WAR IS OVER!

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The war is over! The Allies are victorious! Today, the President of the United States of Texas, Bill Powers, on behalf of the 10 Allies, accepted the unconditional surrender of Commissioner Scott, leader of the Axis of 11. Chancellor Delaney of the 10th Reich, who assaulted the Allies from the eastern front and seized key northern territory, could not be reached for comment. The war began a less than a week ago with a sneak attack on Boulder, Colo. All parties involved signed armistice papers today, and the details of a treaty will be announced in the near future.