A presentation for admittance of the University of Medium

Well, President Bailey, there are two ways to increase profit.  One is by cutting out wast, and the other is by opening new revenue streams.  By taking the first option, you can split the existing pie between less mouths, thus increasing the income for each school.  This limits your growth, though, and creates the impression of a dying animal or losing army, digging in for one last, ultimately doomed, stand.

The option with the most potential, however, is that of opening new revenue streams, and opening new revenue streams is all about branding.  If you create the right brand, it will attract fans who will pay money to watch your product.  So the real question is, "How do I attract fans?"

Follow me through this wonderful presentation to find out.


One way to do that is by raising the level of your current product.  Give me an honest answer here, what is the best conference in football?  OK, I knew you were going to say the Large #, but the majority of college football fans would disagree with you and say it was the Direction-by-Direction Conference, the DDC. (show graph with more fans saying the DDC is better than the Large #)

President Bailey: OK, so the DDC has a better reputation for good football.  Who cares as long as I’m making money and still go to the NC game if I finish undefeated?

Well, that is just the thing; you are making money, but not nearly as much as you could.  The DDC finished in the top 2 in revenue among the major conferences, just behind the Huge #.  The top two each had over $200 million in revenue while the third place conference, the Large #, took home $78 million.  Right now, as the top scheduled member of the Large #, you bring in $10 million.  If you subtract two teams from that pot, it would increase your revenue by $1-2 million*.  That is disregarding that fact that one of the schools that left was one of your top earners. (show various graphs confirming these statements)

President Bailey: OK, the DDC is considered the greatest conference, but the Huge # is certainly no better than the Large #, and yet they still out-earn us considerably.

First of all, I would like to remind you that the Huge # was earning that number before they lured away one of your top earners, so the acquisition of Nowledge University has not been responsible for those numbers.  Secondly, the Huge # has something that the Large # can not reproduce for quite some time, and that is superior brand recognition, also known as tradition.  The Huge # has existed for quite some time, with the same name and the same basic schools.  Your conference abandoned tradition when it merged with the old Desert Conference, abandoned it’s former name and records, and became the Large #.  The Huge # continues to draw fans because it has a reputation for good football from past achievements that doesn’t necessarily reflect current product, much like American car companies*. (show a picture of a GM Aveo)

The aspect of branding you have the most control over is what teams you have in your conference, and how difficult it is to win in your conference.  University of Medium is strong football program that will increase the difficulty level of your conference.  With a greater level of difficulty, fans will be eager to watch your product, and revenue will increase.  It will also help you get your best teams in the championship game.  You currently have teams with two losses, are they any real threat to play in the NC game?  No, and from the Large #, they never will be, because the voters don’t respect your brand.  However, the DDC has had a two loss team play for and win the national championship.  The only other two-loss champion was in 1960, and that school came from the Huge #.*

President Bailey: OK, we need to improve our brand, but how do you help us do that?  You come from the Nobody League and are based in Middle State.  Why don’t we grab from the Ocean # conference, or the Ocean Shoreline Conference, or the Giant Direction conference?  They come from better leagues and have bigger TV markets.

Well, we are finishing up another undefeated season, one of several recent ones we’ve had.  We beat one of your teams earlier this year.  We are ranked 4th in the nation and, if there is at least one upset this weekend, will be playing for our second (or third, depending on who you ask) national championship.  Your conference currently has four member schools that have won a national championship, and you will be losing one of those members.  This brings your total national championships by member schools down from 18 to 12.  The DDC has 18 split among 8 member schools.  The Huge # has 18 out of 7 member schools and will soon have 23 from 8 member schools.

As you can tell, the Large # is pretty top-heavy.  We can bring a competitive upgrade to your conference schedule.

Now, it is true, that we currently have trouble filling our stadium to capacity, but a large part of that is due to the fact that the residents of our state would prefer to go to a BCS conference school’s football games.  If we were accepted into your conference, we could definitely draw the fans we needed.  As I mentioned before, it is all about the branding.  Our brand suffers from being in a ‘lesser’ conference.  Your brand suffers from a lack of conference strength.  If we joined together, we could strengthen both our brands, and therefore increase revenue streams.

Furthermore, there is no guarantee that you are going to get the bigger fish that already have well-established branding that you crave for.  You just had two of your conference members’ leave, of their own volition, for other conferences.  You just barely survived being destroyed.  The last thing you can afford to do is sit back and wait.  You need to come up swinging and show that you aren’t a dead man walking.  We offer that opportunity.  We will help bolster your conference’s strength of schedule and thereby increase viewership.



*That figure is a guess based on the way the conference distributes revenue, with half of it being distributed evenly and the other half based on TV appearances. 78/2=39, 39/12=3.25, 39/10=3.9, 3.9-3.25=.65, and then I added a little more for the shady TV based part that I don’t understand.

*Just meant to be a joke people.  I’m a patriot and I love America.


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