Well, Coffman had a pretty amazing game Saturday after I publicly gave up on him, but we still lost, so I retract none of it. And yes, I know the only reason Coffman tried so hard is to impress me, but since he waited so long between good performances I feel no guilt in keeping my distance from him.
In other news, Texas A&M cheated their way to a victory over the Nebraska Cornhuskers, prompting a expletive-laden melt-down by Pelini not seen since the Texas game last year. And no, WillieWannabe, it is not piling on if the fan-base in question is as delusional as the Huskers.
Only read past the jump if you are not a Husker fan, because all us other fans have something completely unrelated to talk about that doesn't involve you. *wink*
- Big XII Refs | 2-2
Great performance at the aTm game this week. You could have done more in the ISU and KU games though. Either way, we are going to need you this week at the Colorado game. Thanks again.
- Oklahoma State | 10-1 | 6-1
Phase one is proceeding as planned. I was a little worried that OSU would just outright beat the Huskers back in Week 7, but they eventually played ball. By losing to the Huskers they were able to raise Big Red's expectations high enough so the fall would be extremely hard.
- Texas A&M | 8-3 | 5-2
Thank you, Aggies, you are life-savers. You came through and beat Nebraska, as we talked about, and you intentionally re-injured Martinez so Colorado would have a chance. I know it has been tough for you to lose all those games with such superior talent, but I really think it was for the better as it makes Nebraska look more like a bunch of cry-babies. You effort alone is enough to boost you to #2 past two teams with better records. and one with the head-to-head advantage.
- Missouri | 9-2 | 5-2
Why on EARTH did you lose to Texas Tech? Seriously, did you not remember the game plan? You were supposed to lose to Nebraska, lulling them into a false sense of complacency, and then win-out so Nebraska would only have to lose one more game for you to pass them. No we have to make them lose to Colorado, which, thanks to aTm pulling through and re-injuring Martinez is now a distinct possibility. You almost blew it, and your punishment is #3 on my rankings list. I'm sure your pain is immeasurable.
- Oklahoma | 8-2 | 4-2
I'm glad to see that your road woes have come to an end, but for the last time, no, we will not let you pass OSU for the South title. If Colorado screws this up and Nebraska plays in the CG I want to be sure we can beat them, and I'm not sure you can. I guess if you play well this weekend, you can go, but you have to promise to not suck, ok?
- Nebraska | 9-2 | 5-2
Things are getting too close, here. We might have to conjure up some more zebra magic for the Colorado game.
- Baylor | 7-5 | 4-4
Tough loss. Your team seems to suffer from the same problems ours does, inept defense. Is it any consolation that all of your losses are by 42 or more points? I didn't think so, it wouldn't be for me, either. I think if you had played us in Manhattan this year our records would be reversed right now. But hey, no use wasting time on spilled milk! You're going bowling!
- Texas Tech | 6-5 | 3-5
Hey, you're finally bowl eligible! Not that impressive a victory, since you beat the powerhouse Weber State. Good luck with Houston next week, because I'm sure you will need it. Just remember to note, if you beat your opponent next week, that Houston lost to both UCLA and UCF, teams we beat. Just sayin'. Also, I'm still mad that you beat Missouri even though we expressly told you not to. When are you going to learn how to play with the rest of us?
- Kansas State | 6-5 | 3-5
I'm sorry, but if Cosh isn't fired at the end of this season (preferably before) then I have no hope for a better record next year, even with better talent. There is no acceptable reason that we lost to Colorado. On the conspiracy front, we've held up our end of the bargain by losing convincingly to Nebraska and then continuing to lose so there isn't even a slight chance that we could overtake them. Then, when Nebraska is least expecting it, we are going to surprise them with a stunning victory over North Texas! This is such a great strategy and I'm so happy we have implemented it with such perfection.
- Colorado | 5-6 | 2-5
I really am tempted to put them above KSU, but we have the better record for now, so I will cling to that as a reason to keep them below us. Damn we suck. Anyway, you guys have to come out and beat Nebraska at home. I know you don't care about our conspiracy since you're leaving and all that, but certainly you would like to be bowl-eligible, right? Beat Nebraska and you will be. After speaking with Bee... er, unidentified conference officials, I can confirm that you will have some "Zebra Magic" this week. Don't blow this.
- Iowa State | 5-7 | 3-5
Thank you, Iowa State, your dedication to the conspiracy is truly inspiring. I know you could have beaten Nebraska but we needed to build their ego up a lttle more before we could tear it down, so you bit the bullet and threw the sorriest excuse for a pass since Thigpen started for the Chiefs, giving up the loss in overtime. You then proceeded to play a good game against Missouri, but you knew the only chance to keep the Nubs out of the CG was for you to lose, so you obliged, unlike some people. Tech, I'm looking at you. Sorry about that Colorado game, I know how you feel. Anyway, you won't have to take one for the team next year, I promise.
- Texas | 5-6 | 3-5
Thank you for allowing your season to implode after beating Nebraska. You really made the one game they wanted to win most look even more embarrassing than if you had been perceived as a good team this year. I'm sure that next year you will be back to your dominant self.
- Kansas | 3-8 | 1-6
Man, you guys really suck. We tried to make you beat Nebraska since Missouri screwed up and lost to Tech. You knew we couldn't depend on Colorado to beat them. You are just a major let-down, especially in the opening rounds of the NCAA tournament. Don't screw everything up by beating Missouri this week, OK?
OK, everyone have their roles down? Good, I don't want anymore surprises this week. You get that Kansas? Stay down.