With no midweek game for K-State this week, I figured this would be an ideal week to venture a little off-topic. As you'll note under the "Best of BOTC" box on the left sidebar, I have a tendency to take a look at things off the court, as well as on. So last weekend when reader mystman suggested I do a Big 12 All-Hair team to pay homage to some of the great hair styles in the conference, I couldn't resist. This will probably be followed at random intervals by all-hair teams for other sports, as well as other all-conference teams completely unrelated to on-court performance.
Bill Walker, K-State
We'll start at home with K-State's own Bill Walker. Walker is a fun-loving, laid-back guy who started the season with an impressive mop of hair adorning his head. Looked great with that headband. Unfortunately, Walker has taken the shears out and removed the mop, but he remains an entertaining Cat with thunderous dunks and a propensity to relieve himself in very public places.
Darryl Butterfield, Mizzou
Next we move down I-70 to Columbia and find the impressive dreadlocks of Mizzou's Darryl Butterfield. Several Big 12 players sport a solid set of dreads, but Butterfield's top them all in sheer size.
Tyler Hatch, Oklahoma State
Next up on our list is Tyler Hatch of the Oklahoma State Cowboys. I haven't seen Hatch play much, but I wouldn't be surprised if he plays the game with reckless abandon. Almost as if he had flames shooting out of his head. What would be really great is if he would dye his hair red, orange and yellow so that the spikes approximated real flames.
Matt Hill, Texas
Next up is a product of my home-state, Matt Hill, who plays for Texas. While I did refer to Bill Walker's season-beginning 'do as a mop earlier, Hill epitomizes the term. What remains unclear is whether the janitors at the Drum in Austin turn Hill upside down and use him to clean the floor at halftime. Surely a school with as much money as Texas could afford real mops, although the entertainment value would be there.
Sasha Kaun, 'beaks
Our all-hair team concludes with 'beaker forward Sasha Kaun. Up until this year, Kaun sported a head of hair that was rather lacking in, well, hair. But this year, Kaun has been swept under by the tide of wannabe hippyism in Lawrence and has thrown caution to the wind by allowing his hair to grow out. I think it's only a rumor that he accomplishes his pre-game styling by sticking his finger in a power outlet.
Honorary Coach: Joe Dooley, 'beaks
And finally, because no team would be complete without a coach, I give you 'beaker assistant Joe Dooley. Dooley makes the most out of his impressive widow's peak by slathering on layers of butcher's wax and then pulling his hair back as tight as it will go. Although I'm sure many K-Staters would rather see 'beak top dog Bill Self here, I can't in good faith hire him as coach until I have independent confirmation that he is getting an unnatural assist in the hair department, such as a student running up to him and "checking." (For those who don't know, Dooley is the guy seated, who looks like he's staring at Bill Self's butt)
Thanks again to mystman for the story idea. If anybody out there has a story they'd like to see, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Or, just create a free account for yourself and post the story in a diary on the right side of the page.
(All pictures courtesy the school athletic department Web sites, except for the Dooley photo, courtesy the Lawrence Journal World)